maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
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I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
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I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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