And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize