What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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