For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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