eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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