I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
im about as happy as oj after his trial
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize