You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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