this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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