Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(970): View more from Colorado

I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(970): I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina http://tfl.nu/bmhg

Replies (100) Good night (6453) Bad night (2182) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(512): View more from Texas

I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(512): I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it. http://tfl.nu/p4f6

Replies (26) Good night (516) Bad night (7859) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(507): View more from Minnesota

That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(507): That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form. http://tfl.nu/4aa9

Replies (15) Good night (1001) Bad night (5059) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(630): View more from Illinois

a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(630): a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning. http://tfl.nu/n5pe

Replies (12) Good night (5119) Bad night (957) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(412): View more from Pennsylvania

She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(412): She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head. http://tfl.nu/fks8

Replies (4) Good night (928) Bad night (2319) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(970): View more from Colorado

I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(970): I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive. http://tfl.nu/p82j

Replies (4) Good night (2208) Bad night (1345) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(907): View more from Alaska

The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(907): The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door. http://tfl.nu/z046

Replies (6) Good night (1844) Bad night (1462) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(613): View more from Ontario

Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(613): Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs. http://tfl.nu/sez7

Replies (9) Good night (1040) Bad night (2977) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(401): View more from Rhode Island

I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(401): I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking http://tfl.nu/uwdq

Replies (4) Good night (2027) Bad night (847) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(518): View more from New York

Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(518): Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea. http://tfl.nu/ytsg

Replies (3) Good night (2473) Bad night (535) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(817): View more from Texas

No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(817): No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex... http://tfl.nu/th3v

Replies (7) Good night (1458) Bad night (414) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(502): View more from Kentucky

I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(502): I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true. http://tfl.nu/qsda

Replies (8) Good night (2286) Bad night (287) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(902): I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs http://tfl.nu/ena6

Replies (0) Good night (573) Bad night (219) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(865): View more from Tennessee

My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(865): My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy. http://tfl.nu/ige6

Replies (4) Good night (1401) Bad night (248)
Favorite
(778): View more from British Columbia

I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(778): I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job http://tfl.nu/qp1e

Replies (0) Good night (396) Bad night (91)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: