i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I think my vagina is haunted
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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