He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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