i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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