yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
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