just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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