Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
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im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
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