This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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