I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
please come you make the beer taste better
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize