you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
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I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
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You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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