i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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