You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
The dick lei will go down in squad history
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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