i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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