oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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