You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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