So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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