I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
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I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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