It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize