I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
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They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
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I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
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