sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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