Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
whose parrot is this?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Shame is for Republicans.
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