Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Come on in and take your pants off
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