Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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