I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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