Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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