Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
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I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
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I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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