Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize