the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
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we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
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when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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