I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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