I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize