Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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