Christians are straight up FREAKS
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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