My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
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