I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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