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"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
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