i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
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I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
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We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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