I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize