I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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