Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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