My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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