I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize