The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
kristin has been a bad kristin
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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